5. last spring i met you at our old middle schools park, and you hugged me so tight, and i couldn’t tell if it was because there was still snow and your nose was red, but i realized that it was the first time someone had hugged me in months.

4. last summer we sat on a dock at 8pm and talked about running away, and when i said i had to go we stood there for minutes, just looking, and i was so scared that you were going to kiss me.

3. last june you walked around an empty house shutting the curtains, because i asked you to, and you didn’t ask why, you just did. and you had your shirt off and were talking about a nightmare and i could only stare.

2. several months ago we were in the same empty house, and you laid on my chest and i held you and i wanted to take in every single thing about you. i kissed you the hardest i could before i left.

1. last tuesday we sat under a tree and kissed for hours, and when you put your hands on my back, i laughed because it tickled and you only said ‘trust me’.

“I love you” doesn’t mean a fucking thing if you spit it down the throat of every girl who makes you feel less dead.